Don't Lie to Your Wiener: A Cautionary Tale for Writers

One hot summer day, I pulled into the parking lot at PetSmart. I parked next to a minivan with a large man in a Blue Jays jersey standing at the open side door. He was sweating and pleading with someone inside.

“You have to get out of the van. I’m serious this time. I promise we’re at PetSmart.”

I smiled at the man. He sighed and nodded before turning back to the open door.

“Listen, I know I’ve lied to you before and I’m sorry, but it’s true this time. I swear and cross my heart, we’re at PetSmart. You can pick out anything you want.”

He turned back to me. “I’m not sure how I’m going to get him out.”

I had assumed he was trying to cajole a tired toddler in an attempt to avoid a tantrum but then I saw he was holding a leash. Intrigued, I peaked inside the van and saw a little round dog bum peaking out from beside the middle bucket seat. The dog had crammed himself between the seat and the side of the van. The man admitted he had lied to his dog one too many times with, “Want to go to PetSmart?” or “Let’s go to the dog park!” to get him in the van willingly when they were actually going to the vet.

“Can you try?” The man asked, looking genuinely sad that he had lost his dog’s trust.

“Sure. What’s his name?”

“Tony.”

I leaned inside the van. “Hey Tony, he’s not lying this time. You really are at PetSmart.”

The allure of a stranger’s voice clearly got Tony’s attention but still he stayed put, wagging his tail and weighing his options. Finally, the opportunity to meet a new person was just too exciting and he started to back his way out of his hiding spot. It took him a bit to get the cone he was wearing unstuck before Tony the wiener dog came flying across the van like a sausage-shaped torpedo. Even the bandage on his leg didn’t slow him down. He slammed the brakes on however, and dug his paws in when his owner went to grab him. It was a battle he was clearly going to lose, given that he probably weighed eight pounds, but I admired his resolve. When the man finally got a hold of the squirming dog and held him up to see that big, beautiful blue and red sign like he was Pumbaa in the Lion King, the clouds parted, the angels sang, and all was right in Tony’s world again.

dachshund-2801454_960_720.jpg

The End.

There’s an important moral to this story that writers, and really everyoneshould live by.

Deliver on your promises.

To foster and retain trust in clients and others: meet deadlines; show up on time, whether it’s a meeting or a phone call; return communications promptly; and don’t make excuses. Yes stuff happens and life legitimately gets in the way sometimes, but if you disappoint people too many times, your clients and others in your life will be Tony the disappointed wiener dog, wedged in a minivan, not believing what you’re selling.

~Christine MacLeod